Cult of the Master
Chapter Four:
Appearances Are Everything
There was a shrewdly concealed Japanese cultural indoctrination that I didn’t comprehend during the earliest days of my Buddhist practice. You’ve probably heard the Japanese cultural reference regarding “saving face”. Delving deeper, it is said that one may never know which “face” a Japanese individual may be showing to the world at the moment. Due to my youthful naïveté and overly trusting nature, I had yet to grasp this concept of multiple faces or appearances. Since I was so straightforward with others, I mistakenly assumed that my senior leaders must be even more honest, but I was very, very wrong. Lies and manipulation are the stock and trade of sociopaths and cults. This same mindset also pervades the entire (Japanese) SGcult organization as well. Of course, people using false appearances to deceive others are not limited to one country or culture, but this “face” obsession does indeed seem to be a cultural phenomenon of the Japanese people and by extension, the SG cult which masquerades as a legitimate religious movement. Here’s two Japanese words that may help reveal further understanding of this concept of “face” or “appearance”:
Tatemae – polite face
Honne – honest feeling
Whether SGcult leaders are at introduction meetings, in public, or with newer (fragile) members, the polite face is usually on display. Honest feeling is hidden behind the polite face. When dishing out training (abuse) or guidance (manipulation & abuse), we may see the “angry face”, the “concerned face”, the “just listen to my guidance face”, or a plethora of other “faces”, but honest feeling is not revealed (programmed feelings are okay though). In giving guidance (Sgcult leaders receive no background or training in counseling) a leader may simply appear to be concerned, compassionate, helpful, and even fake being angry or demanding. This pretense which employs false faces conceals the true heart and mind of highly trusted SGcult leaders, along with the true nature of the SG organization. The multiple levels of NSA/SGI’s manipulative leadership and organizational subterfuge are astounding, along with the deep-seated self-delusion and denial that encourages unfettered hypocrisy to flourish.
Sociopath tendencies are fostered by becoming a (cult) leader, and may openly appeal to some of the worst traits in human nature - negativity, deceitfulness, hatred, addictions, machinations, subjugation, worship of power, establishing control over others, and the need to feel superior and special. These negative qualities are cleverly masked by the deceptive pretense of appearing to be positive, all knowing, successful, altruistic, compassionate, and wise.
The SGcult Corporation integrates the type of leadership and organization that functions top down and relies on lies, deceit, manipulations, and a totally subjugated membership willing to do or accept anything they are told by their leaders. Don’t believe me? Just try asking for an independent accounting of where the all donated money has gone and is now going. Or ask why the membership isn’t allowed to vote on anything - ever! Elected leaders? Ha! Democratic policies? Forget about it! The truth about what happens at the top is shielded from prying eyes and inquiring minds. Hey girls - up for a naked hot tub party tonight with Cult Daddy?
Only a sociopath would try to equate working for world peace and Buddhism with using precious donation money to purchase prime real estate, investing in war corporation stock portfolios, giving financial support to politicians, controlling their own political party, or using and abusing the membership as slaves to increase profits for their corporation. These depraved goals of attaining power and wealth are what the tax sheltered SGcult is in fact all about.
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It wasn’t very long at all after returning from my first pilgrimage to the head temple in 1972 that I was appointed to the position of Texas Chapter Chief (or as someone has described being an NSA leader, “brainwash meat in a guilt trip sandwich”). At the time, I was very proud (it appealed to my young ego) to be one of the very first American youth to hold a chapter level position in Texas. But that pride was just the illusion and delusion of a naïve youth. It would be many more years before I would begin to comprehend how holding a senior leader position was really just a veiled means of deepening control over me by SGcult HQ leadership. Like puppet masters, SGcult senior leaders were controlling my strings, using me for ulterior purposes, while dressing me up with a pre-approved appearance to show off for the audience (membership). I was discouraged from forming my own opinions, taking any actions, or making any decisions without prior guidance and approval from my senior leaders. I was even forbidden from having a girlfriend! I repeat - forbidden from having a girlfriend (or any sexual relations). No sex for singles was an undeclared commandment carefully kept under wraps! Would I have ever embarked on this bizarre journey if I had understood there was a requirement to become sexually inactive in order to become a senior leader? Well no, I certainly would not have, but I was already hooked (addicted). However, by succumbing to the manipulation to surrender my sexual freedom, I had unknowingly given tremendous control of my life to my SGcult leaders (exploiters/abusers). I was being indoctrinated to blindly obey my leaders, to no longer trust my own mind or my ability to make important decisions and judgments for myself, but to instead seek guidance (control) from leaders for everything.
At the same time I was being torn down as an independent and free spiritual being, I was being molded and shaped into the appearance of being a “perfect leader”. Then, I could be held up as an ideal example of a local SGcult leader to all the wanna-bees. An outer shell of appearance/polite face (tatemae) was slowly being constructed, masking my “honest feelings” (honne). That suppressing and repressing empty shell would continue to engulf me, until eventually, this pretense of false appearance would come crashing down upon me in the form of an agonizing identity crisis. My own self-identity would eventually become completely lost inside of phony appearance. This false facade left me empty and depressed while fallaciously portraying me as the perfect example of a happy and successful Cult SGI leader.
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My total involvement with NSA continued to deepen, at the expense of my personal relationships and responsibilities. When my maternal grandfather passed away during the middle of yet another NSA campaign, I told my mom that I was too busy with my NSA leadership responsibilities to attend his funeral. Appallingly, after getting “guidance”, I believed that helping to run some campaign or another for NSA (the SGcult) was more important than consoling my own mother at my grandfather’s funeral. I knew it would really hurt my mom’s already battered feelings if I didn’t go, but I couldn’t say no to my “seniors in faith”! For many years afterward, I suffered shame at how selfishly I acted. Not only was she my mom, but after all, I would not have made it to Japan for the pilgrimage without her financial help. Now that she needed my emotional support, I blew her off for yet another all-important SGcult campaign. What an insulated and unfeeling zombie-fied dick I had become, thanks to SGcult and my so-called compassionate Buddhist leaders.
Now in retrospect, I realize how my leaders manipulated me into making a rationalized decision that would certainly cause me to suffer from guilt, confusion, anxiety, and isolation from family. Exhausted, beaten down people in a weakened or altered emotional state make easy prey for “suggestions” from cult leaders. (Hey, its okay to abandon your family – the campaign needs you more.)
My “mother in faith”, Mrs. Vaden, continued to foster supernatural relationship connections in my mind with my “father in faith”, NSA General Director Williams, and my “master in life”, SG President Ikeda. She assured me that if I chanted hard enough, I could create a magical connection with these alleged Buddhist giants. I fell for the erroneous concept that through the power of the gohonzon, Ikeda or Williams could magically sense my sincere daimoku and prayers offered out of my longing to know a father and a master - ones that had been peddled to me as greater than all others. You know - living Buddhas. Thinking about it now makes me remember an old saying, “if you see a Buddha on the road, kill him!”
I read Ikeda’s book “The Human Revolution”, written as fiction under the pen name, Yamamoto. I misguidedly took this fictitious account of the early years of the Soka Gakkai’s development as gospel truth and accurate history. I was sold on Ikeda as savior of the world.
I bought a copy of the book to give my mom as a Christmas gift. Somehow, I believed that if she would only read Ikeda’s book, she would gain a clearer understanding of the supposedly noble mission that my Buddhist master and I were pursuing for the sake of world peace (jousting with windmills like Don Quixote and Sancho Panza). I don’t think she ever read one single page of it. But I went right ahead and deluded myself into believing that I had made progress toward helping my mom to understand why I had decided to become a Buddhist and how was following the dream of world peace.
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Within the Texas General Chapter, a competition was fostered between chapters for the highest numbers of shakabuku (conversions) and World Tribune subscriptions. My chapter was often able to take the lead in chapter newspaper subscriptions by persuading members, mostly Japanese WD) to pay for multiple subscriptions. Many members, including myself, bought so many copies of the World Tribune that being able to pay for basic needs like food and rent suffered as a result. Promises of great benefits were offered to those who would ante up for extra subscriptions. Members that were taking up to 10, 20, or more subscriptions per month were asked to take yet even more so that our chapter could “win” the campaign, with the promise that any hardship caused by unaffordable spending would be rewarded with some great benefit in the future.
Bolstering the chapter’s shakabuku campaign numbers sometimes meant grabbing any unresisting warm body with five dollars willing to donate their money for a Gohonzon. It didn’t really matter if we never saw these new “converts” again or not, as long the numbers were there to prove that in our chapter, we were “winning the campaign.” Anything for world peace, right? We members were unknowingly being taught to desecrate the lofty principles of Buddhism by being let to believe we could buy benefits and good fortune by purchasing SGcult publications. In reality, we were just digging into our poor empty pockets to help make the owner and publisher of these publications, Cult Daddy Ikeda, a very rich multi-billionaire.
It was around this time that I first began to observe how the “breaking down” of members (spirit) worked. One of the biggest multiple subscription publication buyers in my district was an aging Japanese WD, Mrs. Darnell. Mrs. D was regularly late for meetings, mostly due to running around all over Dallas to give rides to other members. When I discussed the problem of her tardiness at the meetings with my senior leader, Mrs. Vaden, I was advised to call up Mrs. D and tell her not to come to the meetings at all if she couldn’t arrive on time. Feeling that this was much too harsh a thing to demand of such a loyal and hard-working member, at first I objected to the idea. But Mrs. Vaden convinced me to do it anyway. She told me that she would “take care of” Mrs. Darnell when she received the expected phone call to complain about my callous treatment. My senior leader was using me to set up (breakdown) Mrs. Darnell. Such manipulative behavior! But I went along with it, because by that time, I would have done anything to please my senior leader, rather than displease her and be subjected to a severe and abusive vocal barrage of anger and displeasure. After receiving her plotted and planned redress and browbeating from Mrs. Vaden over the phone (you wouldn’t believe the amount of intense anger that Mrs. Vaden could pour through that phone!), Mrs. D did start arriving at the meetings on time, but is was totally unfair the way she was ambushed. Such underhanded manipulation! I felt like a prick for setting up Mrs. Darnell for an uncalled for and abusive psy-op beating.
Then, there was another member I saw getting the “treatment”. Steve was a YMD district level leader and played trumpet (one of the few that could actually play) pretty well in the brass band. He liked to mix different philosophies into his Buddhist practice, especially I Ching. On considering whether of not to take his old car on one of those frantic weekend road trips from Dallas to Los Angeles and back, Steve had chanted and consulted his I Ching book. The message that he received was “go ahead”. So off we went on our car caravan, but before we got a hundred miles out, Steve’s car broke down. The caravan continued west to ole Californee and the big meeting, leaving Steve behind to deal with his “bad car karma”.
But our senior leader did not appreciate Steve’s use of the I Ching and Steve fell out of favor. Even though he was already a rising star before I came along, I was chosen for promotion over Steve to Chapter Chief level. As a TCD chief (ah, those white stripes on the sleeves of my blue TCD windbreaker – what a nice taste of power), I was put in charge of the numerous bus trips to L.A. and then in a reversal, Steve had to take orders from me (the SGcult is run in a very militaristic manner). Abruptly, Steve (who had so much talent and potential) found himself waiting under a dim streetlight on a lonely corner – waiting to flag down chartered buses. He was regularly assigned to working outside at large gathering doing menial tasks. I could see how unhappy he was becoming as his “I’ll do anything” spirit dwindled away. Now, it is obvious to me that he was being “broken” as punishment for not towing the line. I saw his pain but I looked away. I was already addicted to my role as “leader”, so I rushed ahead to meet the frantic pace that was set for me by my handlers. I couldn’t let myself be distracted by any honest feelings from the goal at hand – to gain greater position and power by any means. But the foreboding image of a broken Steve underneath that streetlight continued to haunt me.
One of the big lies (and hypocrisies) presented to potential converts and new members at introduction meetings revolved around the idea that one could continue to practice their current religion while practicing Buddhism. “You don’t have to give anything up to try chanting!” This feel good idea was a deliberate falsehood. Once a member’s practice was established, any other religious practices or symbols, (including those from other Buddhist sects) were condemned and banished. A bible, the Koran, or even a statue of Buddha was considered to be heretical and demands were made of members to get rid of any “offending” items. Under pressure to conform to these hypocritical and contradictory policies/doctrines, I thought about what had happened to Steve with his I Ching thing, and decided to throw away the very expensive leather bound family bible that my mother gave me as a child, even though I knew that my keeping it meant a lot to my mom. I had no interest in that bible, yet I was led to believe that just having it in a box in the closet was a danger to my faith (and perhaps my position). Years later, when my mom asked me about that leather bible, I lied and told her I still had it, which only served to compound the guilt I already felt about having thrown it away. Cults lead people to do reckless and stupid things, then use their subsequent guilt and confusion against them to establish ever-deepening control.
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It was during this time period that I introduced both of my brothers to my Buddhist practice and NSA. I convinced them both to receive the Gohonzon (at different times), but neither one of them got swept into the maelstrom the way I had. My brother Tim chanted for a short time, but wasn’t too interested in practicing anything other than lifting a beer and a cigarette to his lips, so he was pretty safe from the clutches of the cult. I think he was turned off by the organization, especially when I quit smoking weed to become a leader. My oldest brother, Jack, was more interested in chanting and even tried to learn how to recite gongyo, but wouldn’t come to any meetings, so he was fairly safe from the cult as well.
Jack still has his 1973 issued Nittatsu Gohonzon. He has told me many times that he still gets it out once in a while, hangs it on the wall, and chants a few daimoku to it, then puts it away again. I always thought how that was fairly acceptable, but my senior leaders would certainly have overruled me on that point. On several occasions, I did send some of my members to do home visitation with Jack, but I had to stop sending them over because he kept getting them stoned on grass! My brothers may have been substance abusers, but at least they were both wise enough and fortunate enough not to get caught in the cult trap that had ensnared me so thoroughly.
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Appearance is everything in Cult SGI. After I was pressed (drafted?) into service as a sokahan (traffic control division) member, I was required to cut my long hair and shave my moustache and goatee. Being a member of the Brass Band also made the same requirement, and so did becoming a senior leader. The pressure to appear as a clean cut all American boy was absolutely overwhelming. But before long I began to hate the obligation to keep my haircut styled short and to display a bald face. This conservative grooming requirement would become one of the first things that began to eat at my gut (honest feeling – honne). But our SGcult demanded that I present a very specific “face” to the world (polite face - tatemae). It was mandatory to maintain a face that was acceptable to conservative Japanese culture (always remember to appear to be polite and don’t stand out as an individual!). I was lectured so many times about how my appearance was vitally important because I represented our religious organization to the world. I heard this so often that I had begun to believe it. That is the true nature of a cult and of propaganda – simply repeat a lie often enough and eventually it will be believed, and the bigger the lie, the better. I was being indoctrinated to both lie to and deceive myself, which would result in making it much more effortless for me to deceive and lie to the rest of the world. Hey everyone, don’t we all appear to be happy and successful now? Join up and SGcult will show you how to appear to be happy too, just as we appear to be!
My roommate’s name was John. After the both of us returned from our tozan trip to Japan, we became severely destitute. (Where was all that fortune and benefit we were supposed to be receiving anyhow?) The money from my VA benefits for schooling had been just enough to pay the rent and keep the electricity on for the summer, but not enough to buy any food. After we literally ate every shred of food in the house, we began to starve (even though we were supposed to be enjoying lots of benefits from chanting 1 to 3 hours a day, doing 5 meetings a week, doing midnight gongyo, running back and forth to L.A., attending conventions, etc etc.) We managed to find enough money to do endless activities but couldn’t afford to eat. Finally, John landed a job working as a night security guard. One night, he decided to steal two cases of pork n beans and two cases of beenies and weenies to get us through our food dilemma until some more grocery money came in. We worried a bit about the bad karma aspect of stolen food as we gratefully popped another can to fill our empty bellies. Needless to say, I got really sick of eating beans! But we went to the meetings and put on the appearance of being so happy and successful because we were chanting (so just try it and you’ll get anything you want blah blah!)
Oh yeah, appearance is everything. Just as long as their is an appearance is in place, it just doesn’t matter if there’s any substance behind it. Big appearance is merely a vehicle used to deceive and distract, the same principles a magician uses to re-direct the attention of the audience away from what he is really doing. Being a leader and sitting in the center at meetings or being onstage at big meetings are only superficial benefits. The real benefit of big appearance lies in establishing the mere appearance of authority, of being in charge, and of having the power to tell everyone else how it is (cue sound of applause). Of course, there are small appearances too, like the appearance of little yellow stains on the crotch of John’s unwashed white pants that stared us in face whenever he stood up to give an experience at a meeting. Those small appearances made it very difficult for us to keep that “polite face” out in front of our “honest feelings”.